You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
