Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
