so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
