I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
