great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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