Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
