Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
