i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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