i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
