I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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