I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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