But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
