Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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