I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
