you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
