he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
