Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
