Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He passed out mid-signature
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
