Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
