I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
