watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
