if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
