Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
