I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
