Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
These tits shall not be calmed
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
