Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
we should paint friendship bongs
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
