Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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