Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
