I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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