im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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