I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
