You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
