VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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