I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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