Betty ford says i'm here all night
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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