I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
