we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
