Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
