My first STD was from a foam party
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
