I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
