i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
