I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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