She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
