And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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