I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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