Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He's a Shit stain on my heart
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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