marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize
