You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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