I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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