Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
