It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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