a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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